Decision Making

I’ve been feeling weighed down and anxious for a while…my dreams have been anxiety-laden and my sleep has been spotty.  I didn’t know what exactly was stressing me out.

Today I panicked about a class project…and realized that I’m overwhelmed.  There’s too much to juggle right now.  And the thought of dropping something – it made me feel like a failure.

It’s hard to make the decision to let go of something and not feel like that means that I’m failing.  I know it’s about balance, at least, intellectually I do.  But my inner critic says that if I can’t do it all, I’ve failed.  If I can’t juggle four jobs and classes, how will I ever manage anything?  And I know this is crazy.  Because no one can go non-stop.  And if the past week or so has been this crazy, I can’t sustain this with no days off for months.  Something has to give.

And when I acknowledged to myself that I have to put the wheels in motion to drop a class…it was scary.  But I could feel the weight lifting…  Now I just have to accept that this is a success, not a failure.