Decision MakingPosted: 12 September 2011
I’ve been feeling weighed down and anxious for a while…my dreams have been anxiety-laden and my sleep has been spotty. I didn’t know what exactly was stressing me out.
Today I panicked about a class project…and realized that I’m overwhelmed. There’s too much to juggle right now. And the thought of dropping something – it made me feel like a failure.
It’s hard to make the decision to let go of something and not feel like that means that I’m failing. I know it’s about balance, at least, intellectually I do. But my inner critic says that if I can’t do it all, I’ve failed. If I can’t juggle four jobs and classes, how will I ever manage anything? And I know this is crazy. Because no one can go non-stop. And if the past week or so has been this crazy, I can’t sustain this with no days off for months. Something has to give.
And when I acknowledged to myself that I have to put the wheels in motion to drop a class…it was scary. But I could feel the weight lifting… Now I just have to accept that this is a success, not a failure.