thankful
Posted: 28 March 2011 Filed under: lent 2011 Leave a comment »one of my backstage crew had a bike accident on the way to the theatre today. he is home now, with stitches, and splint and concussion, but he is fine. thank God for helmets and high school kids who aren’t “too cool” to wear them. thank God for high school kids who care about their friends – and let me care about them too. and thank God that he’s okay.
permission to slack
Posted: 27 March 2011 Filed under: lent 2011 Leave a comment »I am sometimes not very patient with myself. But I am giving myself permission, here, where all 7 or so of you can see it, to have a tech week that doesn’t stress me out, and to not answer emails or blog or read productive things this week if I really don’t have the energy for it. And that’s okay.
born in the spirit
Posted: 26 March 2011 Filed under: lent 2011 Leave a comment »| “What is born of the flesh is flesh, and what is born of the Spirit is spirit. Do not be astonished that I said to you, ‘You must be born from above.’ The wind blows where it chooses, and you hear the sound of it, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.”
John 3:6-8
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many different legends, just one story…so many ways to interpret this passage…the wind carries us in and out of this world…and we return to the spirit…and we return again…
meditations for various people and places
Posted: 24 March 2011 Filed under: lent 2011 Leave a comment »for Jen:
“Activity conquers cold, but stillness conquers heat.” ~ Lao Tzu
Some things cannot be spoken or discovered until we have been stuck, incapacitated, or blown off course for awhile.
~David Whyte
for Kris:
“We must learn to hold ambiguity in our hands and still, somehow, emanate peace. We need to accept the terrifying uncertainty of it all. Maybe, actually, embracing that uncertainty is the only road to true freedom.”
and for me:
He that can take rest is greater than he that can take cities. – Benjamin Franklin
stress level rising
Posted: 23 March 2011 Filed under: lent 2011 Leave a comment »This is the first time in a while I’ve done work at home, and thought about work at home. I’ve been much better about leaving work at work and not making to do lists when I lie sleepless in bed. but we’re in tech, and it’s hard, and to leave on time today I made the choice to send some emails from home. One was semi-disciplinary in nature…I hate that part of my job. The good thing is that this mom is wonderful, and when I emailed her about setting a time to talk on the phone, she not only was responsive to that offer, she also said that she’d heard from her son directly, his story was a little different, and she was hoping we could talk about it. I do like when I hear that kids are actually talking to their parents, and I understand that the stories aren’t the same, because no two stories are the same.
In class yesterday, we talked about how it’s not fair to say “I understand” to a client – it’s dismissive, because you don’t understand, because you can’t live someone else’s moments. We can only live our own moments and only understand them from our point of view.
As the week goes on and into final tech rehearsals next week, I will undoubtedly get more stressed and bring more of my work home with me…but I’m finding balance…and doing it less this show than the show before, and hopefully less on the next show than on this one…it’s a constant struggle, but I’m trying to define how I live my moments, on my own terms…
Physical Anxiety
Posted: 22 March 2011 Filed under: lent 2011 Leave a comment »Leigh posted about anxiety today, and it was interesting because in today’s role play in class, I revisited a client role I’d used before, who has a lot of anxiety. I realized that while my head can snap back to myself as soon as the timer says time is up for the in-class session, my body holds the anxiety much longer. My muscles are still tense from the 30 minutes of constant agitation, and my heart rate even still is a little elevated…it’s fascinating how our bodies hold on to these things, even when they are imposed and not genuine, and the clues we can get from our bodies about how we’re really feeling…
No One, True Way
Posted: 21 March 2011 Filed under: lent 2011 Leave a comment »Today’s frustration with the Afghanistan meditations…it asks us to pray that God will interfere with the communications of the militants…this makes me think about what we can ask for when we pray…
I think that it’s okay to ask for God to care for others in sickness, and to ease others’ sufferings. I think it’s okay to ask God to help us through our own pain and troubles. I think it’s okay to pray for God to help people find an end to wars and a better world for everyone to live in. But direct interference – I’m not okay with that. I’m okay with asking for help, but not with telling God how to help. It’s God. Who am I to think I know what needs to happen more than God does?
In her well-known Heralds of Valdemar books, Mercedes Lackey creates a fictional nation where the governing rule is “There is no one, true way.” The citizens are forbidden to pray for a victory in war because of this rule. Yet they see the hands of their gods in their lives all the time. They pray for help and guidance, but they don’t tell the gods what to do. I think it’s a good way to live.
I will not tell you how to live your life, and I don’t want you to tell me how to live mine. But I’m certainly not planning to tell God what to do in order to make the world a better place – I’m just going to ask for help and guidance in doing my part to make it better.
Welcome Spring!
Posted: 20 March 2011 Filed under: lent 2011, spring equinox Leave a comment »Lady Day: The Vernal Equinox
by Mike Nichols
Now comes the Vernal Equinox, and the season of Spring reaches its apex, halfway through its journey from Candlemas to Beltane. Once again, night and day stand in perfect balance, with the powers of light on the ascendancy. The god of light now wins a victory over his twin, the god of darkness. In the Mabinogion myth reconstruction which I have proposed, this is the day on which the restored Llew takes his vengeance on Goronwy by piercing him with the sunlight spear. For Llew was restored/reborn at the Winter Solstice and is now well/old enough to vanquish his rival/twin and mate with his lover/mother. And the great Mother Goddess, who has returned to her Virgin aspect at Candlemas, welcomes the young sun god’s embraces and conceives a child. The child will be born nine months from now, at the next Winter Solstice. And so the cycle closes at last.
We think that the customs surrounding the celebration of the spring equinox were imported from Mediterranean lands, although there can be no doubt that the first inhabitants of the British Isles observed it, as evidence from megalithic sites shows. But it was certainly more popular to the south, where people celebrated the holiday as New Year’s Day, and claimed it as the first day of the first sign of the Zodiac, Aries. However you look at it, it is certainly a time of new beginnings, as a simple glance at Nature will prove.
In the Roman Catholic Church, there are two holidays which get mixed up with the Vernal Equinox. The first, occurring on the fixed calendar day of March 25th in the old liturgical calendar, is called the Feast of the Annunciation of the Blessed Virgin Mary (or B.V.M., as she was typically abbreviated in Catholic Missals). ‘Annunciation’ means an announcement. This is the day that the angel Gabriel announced to Mary that she was ‘in the family way’. Naturally, this had to be announced since Mary, being still a virgin, would have no other means of knowing it. (Quit scoffing, O ye of little faith!) Why did the Church pick the Vernal Equinox for the commemoration of this event? Because it was necessary to have Mary conceive the child Jesus a full nine months before his birth at the Winter Solstice (i.e., Christmas, celebrated on the fixed calendar date of December 25). Mary’s pregnancy would take the natural nine months to complete, even if the conception was a bit unorthodox.
As mentioned before, the older Pagan equivalent of this scene focuses on the joyous process of natural conception, when the young virgin Goddess (in this case, ‘virgin’ in the original sense of meaning ‘unmarried’) mates with the young solar God, who has just displaced his rival. This is probably not their first mating, however. In the mythical sense, the couple may have been lovers since Candlemas, when the young God reached puberty. But the young Goddess was recently a mother (at the Winter Solstice) and is probably still nursing her new child. Therefore, conception is naturally delayed for six weeks or so and, despite earlier matings with the God, She does not conceive until (surprise!) the Vernal Equinox. This may also be their Hand-fasting, a sacred marriage between God and Goddess called a Hierogamy, the ultimate Great Rite. Probably the nicest study of this theme occurs in M. Esther Harding’s book, ‘Woman’s Mysteries’. Probably the nicest description of it occurs in M.Z. Bradley’s ‘Mists of Avalon’, in the scene where Morgana and Arthur assume the sacred roles. (Bradley follows the British custom of transferring the episode to Beltane, when the climate is more suited to its outdoor celebration.)
The other Christian holiday which gets mixed up in this is Easter. Easter, too, celebrates the victory of a god of light (Jesus) over darkness (death), so it makes sense to place it at this season. Ironically, the name ‘Easter’ was taken from the name of a Teutonic lunar Goddess, Eostre (from whence we also get the name of the female hormone, estrogen). Her chief symbols were the bunny (both for fertility and because her worshipers saw a hare in the full moon) and the egg (symbolic of the cosmic egg of creation), images which Christians have been hard-pressed to explain. Her holiday, the Eostara, was held on the Vernal Equinox Full Moon. Of course, the Church doesn’t celebrate full moons, even if they do calculate by them, so they planted their Easter on the following Sunday. Thus, Easter is always the first Sunday, after the first Full Moon after the Vernal Equinox. If you’ve ever wondered why Easter moved all around the calendar, now you know. (By the way, the Catholic Church was so adamant about not incorporating Lunar Goddess symbolism that they added a further calculation: if Easter Sunday were to fall on the Full Moon itself, then Easter was postponed to the following Sunday instead.)
Incidentally, this raises another point: recently, some Pagan traditions began referring to the Vernal Equinox as Eostara. Historically, this is incorrect. Eostara is a lunar holiday, honoring a lunar Goddess, at the Vernal Full Moon. Hence, the name ‘Eostara’ is best reserved to the nearest Esbat, rather than the Sabbat itself. How this happened is difficult to say. However, it is notable that some of the same groups misappropriated the term ‘Lady Day’ for Beltane, which left no good folk name for the Equinox. Thus, Eostara was misappropriated for it, completing a chain-reaction of displacement. Needless to say, the old and accepted folk name for the Vernal Equinox is ‘Lady Day’. Christians sometimes insist that the title is in honor of Mary and her Annunciation, but Pagans will smile knowingly.
Another mythological motif which must surely arrest our attention at this time of year is that of the descent of the God or Goddess into the Underworld. Perhaps we see this most clearly in the Christian tradition. Beginning with his death on the cross on Good Friday, it is said that Jesus ‘descended into Hell’ for the three days that his body lay entombed. But on the third day (that is, Easter Sunday), his body and soul rejoined, he arose from the dead and ascended into heaven. By a strange ‘coincidence’, most ancient Pagan religions speak of the Goddess descending into the Underworld, also for a period of three days.
Why three days? If we remember that we are here dealing with the lunar aspect of the Goddess, the reason should be obvious. As the text of one Book of Shadows gives it, ‘…as the moon waxes and wanes, and walks three nights in darkness, so the Goddess once spent three nights in the Kingdom of Death.’ In our modern world, alienated as it is from nature, we tend to mark the time of the New Moon (when no moon is visible) as a single date on a calendar. We tend to forget that the moon is also hidden from our view on the day before and the day after our calendar date. But this did not go unnoticed by our ancestors, who always speak of the Goddess’s sojourn into the land of Death as lasting for three days. Is it any wonder then, that we celebrate the next Full Moon (the Eostara) as the return of the Goddess from chthonic regions?
Naturally, this is the season to celebrate the victory of life over death, as any nature-lover will affirm. And the Christian religion was not misguided by celebrating Christ’s victory over death at this same season. Nor is Christ the only solar hero to journey into the underworld. King Arthur, for example, does the same thing when he sets sail in his magical ship, Prydwen, to bring back precious gifts (i.e. the gifts of life) from the Land of the Dead, as we are told in the ‘Mabinogi’. Welsh triads allude to Gwydion and Amaethon doing much the same thing. In fact, this theme is so universal that mythologists refer to it by a common phrase, ‘The Harrowing of Hell’.
However, one might conjecture that the descent into hell, or the land of the dead, was originally accomplished, not by a solar male deity, but by a lunar female deity. It is Nature Herself who, in Spring, returns from the Underworld with her gift of abundant life. Solar heroes may have laid claim to this theme much later. The very fact that we are dealing with a three-day period of absence should tell us we are dealing with a lunar, not solar, theme. (Although one must make exception for those occasional male lunar deities, such as the Assyrian god, Sin.) At any rate, one of the nicest modern renditions of the harrowing of hell appears in many Books of Shadows as ‘The Descent of the Goddess’. Lady Day may be especially appropriate for the celebration of this theme, whether by storytelling, reading, or dramatic re-enactment.
Superheroes in Context?
Posted: 19 March 2011 Filed under: lent 2011 Leave a comment »Today’s meditation reflected on Christ’s temptation in the wilderness as a “superhero” facing down a “villain” and then goes on to talk about how God’s love is different than power, and how we are all interconnected. While clearly I agree with the perspective of interconnectedness, I just don’t understand how you get there from the superhero metaphor. Like male-dominated history, superhero narratives are about the individual…interconnection and community don’t really have a place for the superhero…
violent sore throat
Posted: 18 March 2011 Filed under: identity Leave a comment »allergies are in full swing…so i’m lacking many words tonight, both literally and figuratively. happy weekend!